Goodbye
by SVU101
Summary: I remember it all so clearly. The last conversation we had. The last time I saw her and really spoke to her. The last time I saw her.
1. Chapter 1

_**Elliot's POV**_

_**I remember it all so clearly. The last conversation we had. The last time I saw her and really spoke to her. The last time I saw her.**_

"What is wrong with you?" I hear John ask me. We were talking to a suspect and I pushed him up to the wall and started choking him. Olivia tried to get me off of him but I wouldn't, instead I pushed her into a wall. She hit her head and fell to the ground.

"I-I don't know." I said breathing heavy. "How is she?"

"She's ok, but right now she just wants to know if you're ok. I don't get her. If I were her I wouldn't give a damn about you right now, but she keeps asking about you. She told Cargen she isn't pressing charges. Your very lucky to have a partner like her, Stabler. The thing is your losing her." John said and walked away.

'_What did he mean by that? I'm losing her. How?'_

I walk into the crib where Olivia is. Cargen and Fin are talking to the suspect that I had tried to choke. Munch… well I don't know where he is. I look in and there she is. Sitting up on the bed putting on her boots. I walk in.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

"I'm ok. Are you?"

"Olivia I just pushed you into a wall. You should be charging me or something. I could've put you in a coma. Your asking me if I'm ok while I could've done that to you."

"Elliot I know you didn't mean it. You lost your temper. It happens to everyone. Plus you have enough to handle with right now." She said getting up. I watch her walk to the squad room and I follow her.

"Liv?"

"Yeah, el." She said putting on her coat and for the first time in weeks I saw something different about her. I could see her jeans falling off of her and her once small shirt hanging off of her too. O looked into her eyes. They lost that warm feeling. That spark. She looked pale.

"How have you been really?"

"I've been ok Elliot. Don't worry about me." She said smiling at me, but it was fake. Actually come to think of it all her smiles lately have been fake.

"You lost weight and you look different. Why?"

"Elliot…. Nothing is wrong."

"A few minutes ago john said I'm losing you. And it's true. Your different. I've been an asshole lately."

"Elliot that is not true. I mean yes you have been cranky, but you were not a asshole. I have to go home. Take care Elliot." She said walking away. She disappears into the dark hallways. I hear cargen call my name and walk into his office and sit down.

"I'm sorry Captain."

"For what? The guy confessed. I se you finally notice Olivia's change."

"Yeah. Did she tell you what is wrong?"

"No, but Haung has been keeping a close eye on her and he thinks she might commit suicide. Do you believe that?"

"Well not really I mean this is Olivia were talking about she wouldn't do that."

"Ok just watch out and if you see any cuts on her tell me. And Elliot you might wanna go see Haung. Get some things off your chest."

"Ok thanks cap."

Morning came and we were all working. Olivia called in sick so I was on the desk. Nothing came in so we all just played around. It was eight PM and cargen told us to go home. I went to my apartment. I brought it a month ago since I moved out. The divorce was final now. In the middle of the night I wake up to my phone ringing.

As soon as I heard something happened to Olivia I drove to her apartment as quickly as I could. When I got there I saw the police and an ambulance. I walk up the stairs and I see Cargen, Munch and Fin there. They had sad faces on. John looked like he was crying. I walk into her apartment and I see the CSU team gathered around something in the bathroom. I walk into the bathroom and there I see Olivia's lifeless body on the ground.

Both her wrists were slit and her blood was seeping onto the white bathroom tiles. Her face pale. I couldn't help it. I dropped to my knees right next to her. I put my head on her stomach and I cry 'come back'. I say it over and over, but she doesn't seem to come back. Just two days ago I spoke to her, what I didn't know was that would be the last time.

It's been two weeks since her death and now I am standing in the grave yard with Cargen, Munch, Fin, Casey and some victims she helped over the years. We stand here and watch as they brier her. I cry as her casket goes down. On her grave stone it read:

_Olivia Benson_

_January, 29, 2006_

_Partner, friend, and daughter_

It's been a month now since her funeral. We are all now cleaning her apartment out. I went to her desk she had in the corner of her apartment. I saw a note on her desk and it was addressed to me. I opened it and read it;

_Dear Elliot,_

_You are probably mad at me for killing myself. I have something to tell you. Something I couldn't tell you in years. I love you. I forgive you for that little push you gave me in the interrogation room. I don't want any of you sulking around. I want you guys to go about your days as if nothing happened. Do not think a bottle is an answer because it's not. _

_I hope you go on with life because id you don't I'll haunt you till you die. I'll be watching over you Elliot remember that._

_Love,_

_Liv._

_A/N ok. Pointless I know, but it popped into my head so I wrote it. I hope ya'll liked it! R&R_


	2. Chapter 2

Good-bye

_Ok some people have been saying I should continue and explain why Olivia committed suicide. So here is chapter2. This takes place two weeks before she committed suicide._

_CHAPTER2 (Olivia's POV)_

_I walk into work only to see Elliot there at his desk. I tried talking to him, but he only pushes me away. I go to sit down and do some paper work. I feel eyes on me and I look up. Elliot is looking at me._

"Yeah?" _I ask him._

"Nothing." _Is all he said._

"Is something wrong? Do you want to talk about it?" _I asked in a gentle voice hoping he'd open up to me._

"Kathy gave me the papers. I have till tomorrow to sign them." He said. _I say 'oh' and he just nods his head._

"If you ever-." _I was about to say, but he cut me off._

"I don't need your pity liv." He said in a harsh tone and went back to working.

_Where did that come from? I went on with my work. When sis o'clock came I went home. When I opened the door I was greeted by my boyfriend. Actually fiancé. He proposed to me last week._

"Hey how was work?" He asked me. He was a doctor. A very weird doctor.

"Good. How about you?" I say.

"Well it was fun." He said to me. "Ok listen I am making dinner I have to run to the store to get something. I'll be back soon." He said I gave him a kiss.

"Bye love ya."He said to me.

"Me too."_ I said. Once he left I went to the bathroom and cried. I don't even love him. I love him as a brother. I dry up my tears and go into the living room and I wait for him. Maybe I should just call it off. _

_A/N ok so there you go. Should I continue with the explaining? Or not? If you guys want me to just say yes! Lol. Also if you have any ideas I would love to hear them! Thank you!_

_Lisa_


	3. Chapter 3

Good-bye

CHAPTER3

LAST TIME:

"Me too."_ I said. Once he left I went to the bathroom and cried. I don't even love him. I love him as a brother. I dry up my tears and go into the living room and I wait for him. Maybe I should just call it off. _

CHAPTER 3 Olivia's POV

Turned out I didn't even have to call it off. The police called me, twenty minutes after he left, and told me he was in a car crash. I was suppose to the squad tomorrow that I was engaged, but now he was gone. I decided not to tell them because, I knew Don would try and make me go home. I cried the whole night. I sheets still had his smell. I loved him very much, but I loved Elliot more.

The next morning I walked into the doors and sat down. I didn't eat anything this morning and I wasn't at all hungry so I decided to just catch up on my paper work. This went on for two weeks now.

I wouldn't eat when the gang asked me out for lunch. I'd say I'm not hungry and that I'd go out later. Elliot. Well he was his self lately. Always, yelling at me for no reason. Fin and Munch cracking up some jokes and I laughed or at least tried to laugh. They didn't catch on about my "depression" and I was glad. I saw Haung following me a couple times, but I shrugged it off. My cloths wouldn't fit anymore. They would hang off of me every day.

Today we had a case. We had the suspect in the interrogation room. He raped ten little girls and he killed seven of them. We were talking to him. Once in awhile I would look at Elliot and I saw the rage in his eyes. The next thing I knew Elliot was choking him. I didn't know why. I got up form my chair and went next to Elliot.

"Get off of him Elliot!" I yelled at him trying to get him off of the suspect.

Then it happened. Something I thought Elliot would never do. He let go of the suspect and turned toward me. He punched me and I went back into a wall. My head hit it hard and I slid down the wall. I heard the door open. I knew it was the squad. I opened my eyes and John was taking Elliot out of the room. Cragen was taking the suspect out. Fin was kneeling down beside me. I slid my arm over his shoulders and we stood up, but I passed out and fell down.

I woke up in the crib room. Fin, Don and Munch were staring at me. I sat up and smiled.

"How's Elliot doing?" I asked them. I saw them exchange looks. I knew what they were thinking. They were thinking why on earth is she worried about him? I'm even asking myself the same question.

"He's doing well." Cragen said.

"Are you pressing charges?" Fin asked. I shook my head no. He was my partner. Plus he was going through a rough divorce, but think about it Olivia. He yells at you for no reason and now he punches you. I pushed the thought out of my head. They all leave. A few minutes later I start putting on my boots and Elliot walked in. we talked and then I left. I went home.

When I walked inside I looked around. I remembered the last time I saw him. He was so happy. Are wedding was next week. We were so happy together. I walked into the den and it smelled like him. I left the room and walked into our room. I went into the closet and got out one of his shirts. I went to the shower. After letting all my muscles loosen I turned off the water. I slipped into his shirt and went to bed. I cried myself to sleep.

_A/N thank you for the reviews and Kelly it's not a dream sorry and it isn't all Elliot's fault._ Maybe next chapter I'll do Elliot's POV again… I don't know…


	4. Chapter 4

Good-bye

CHAPTER4

CHAPTER4 (ELLIOT'S POV)

I don't know what was going on in my life. Kathy had left me and I only got to see the kids on weekends. Sometimes I couldn't se them because I got caught in a case. A lot of things have been bothering me lately. The cases have become more personal and it always gets to me.

When I go home at night to my apartment I sleep if I could. If I can't then read or I just stay at the station and I work. I didn't really notice my surroundings. I just blocked everything from my life.

I think it was Kathleen that asked me how Olivia was. I didn't know how she was. Actually I didn't even remember Olivia. I didn't answer her I just changed the subject. I looked into Kathleen's eyes and she knew that I was pushing Olivia away and I wasn't talking to her. She got up and left the room. I just wanted things back to normal.

One day when I got to work Cap told me that we had the suspect in the interrogation room. Olivia and I walked into the room. He had raped ten little girls and killed seven of them. The thing was they were all around Elizabeth's age. Twelve. We were sitting there and I noticed Olivia kept looking at me. I knew she was trying to see if I was going to do something or if I was showing any emotion. We were questioning him and he said something. I couldn't remember what he had said.

The only thing I knew was I was choking the guy and Olivia was trying to get me off of him. I just lost it. I lost control and I punched her. I watched as her body hit the wall and slid down…

We talked after that. I noticed how she lost weight and all. I noticed that on her left hand you could see a white line on her wedding finger. Was she engaged? I shrugged it off and captain called m into his office. Everything form then on was a blur…

_Ok so maybe next chapter will be my last…idk! Nayway thank you for the reviews! Thank you!_


	5. Chapter 5

Good-bye

Chapter5

CHAPTER5 (OLIVIA'S POV)

I called in sick today. I didn't want to see anyone. Tonight was the night. I thought about it long and hard. Loosing Chris (her now dead fiancé) and my love for Elliot growing it was all to hard. Me loving Elliot was killing me slowly form the inside and out. I decided tonight I would end my life. I wrote my will up and all.

I took out a plain piece of paper and started to write the letter. I knew everyone would search my apartment and I knew they would find this letter. I put it in an envelope. I wrote on the front "The Gang". This was it. I sat on my couch and I looked at the window. A glass f wine sitting there, on the coffee table. I stared at it. Finally I took and it and I drank it. I drank more and more. I could feel myself going numb. It was seven PM.

I walked into my bathroom. I took the knife that was there and I cut my wrist. It hurt so much, but I still went on. I cut both of my wrists. I was sitting down on the ground letting the blood flow from my body. I felt myself letting go. My love for Elliot was in my heart. Chris's laughter was in my head. An image of the squad was in my head and I smiled. One last time I smiled and I feel asleep into a deep slumber and I knew I wasn't going to wake up. I knew I was dieing. I whispered my last words. They were "Good-bye".

(ELLIOT'S POV)

When I got to bed I was only woken up by my cell phone. I answered it. Cragen told me to come down to Olivia's apartment that something happened. I go dressed and drove to her apartment. When I got there I saw Cragen, Fin and John standing outside her door. They were crying I walked up to them.

Wha-." I was about to ask them, but they told me to go look. I walked into to her apartment. It was clean and neat. I walked into the bathroom because that's where everyone was.

When I walked in my heart sank and my knees grew weak. I fell on the ground where she was. Both her wrists were cut and the blood was seeping into the white tiles on the floor. Her face was pale and her lips were parted. Her hair fell around her face.

"Come back. Come back." I cried over and over. My head rested on her stomach as I cried. I loved her and now she was gone. I felt a hand on my shoulder. They were trying to bring me away from her body.

"NO! No, no! Leave me alone!" I screamed and fought to stay next to her.

I wanted my partner back. I wouldn't leave her body. I finally got up and I looked at John, Fin and Don. They were all crying as they looked at Olivia. She was a family to us and we could never imagine life with out her.

Two weeks later I stand at her grave yard. I stare at her stone. I blame myself everyday now. I keep thinking she killed herself because I punched her. The next day we cleaned her apartment out and found the letter she wrote to us. I went home to my apartment. I checked my mail and I saw a letter from Olivia. I sat on my couch and opened the letter.

DEAR Elliot,

I know you're mad at me right now. I also knew you would read the letter I left at my apartment aloud so I wrote this letter just to you. I love you. I was engaged. He died one night. He got into a car crash. I loved him, but I loved you more. Good-bye

Love,

Olivia.

I cried and cried and cried my self to sleep. Years passed and we grew strong. We never forgot Olivia as for we still have her desk the way she left it...

_THE END_

_I hope you all liked it! Thank you all for the reviews!_


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